I'm in a swap, I need a job, and I want some ice cream.
I want to go far, far away. You know to that place where everything is oh so beautiful, you could just sit there for hours and everything inspires you to be creative. I feel that my creativity is slipping. I am losing interest in making new things. I need a wake up call, something that will inspire me to move forward. I just don't know what it is or where to find it. I got my swap partner today! This looks like its going to be fun. I really can't wait. I love getting stuff in the mail. Don't you? Seriously raise your hand if you don't like getting stuff in the mail. Well if that's you I'm sorry. You can send all your packages to me. I don't think I will be babysitting anymore. At least not for this family. I don't know what's going on but I am not going to get mad about it. I'll probably need the sleep for the next couple of days anyway. I'm working the LPGA and it looks like I am going to be really busy. And this also means that I am back to looking for a job. I applied to work at BBW with mommy but that didn't work out so I am considering other possibilities. Michaels perhaps or Hobby Lobby. That way I can get discounts on all the stuff I buy. I wish I could work for Stephanie that would be amazing I just love her store. Oh so much beautiful yarn, you gotta love the yarn. I thought about Wal-Mart but I don't know. Mommy is not to keen on the idea. I want to do something fun. But I really hate to dress up. I always feel like I fail in that department. For instance I could sell shoes at Macy's or work one of the counters at Sears but I don't like trying to find something to wear. Especially since shopping can be such a major pain. I could apply at Hottopic but I don't know if I would like working there as much as I like shopping there. Take for example I used to love going to the library I went whenever I could but after working there for almost 2 years I can't stand the place. And we have like 24 different branches but I don't like any of them anymore. I don't want that to happen with Hottopic.I am thinking about my future a lot more. Mommy and I had a deep conversation yesterday and I think I need to get on the ball of deciding what I am going to do. My biggest fear is that I will fail her, that I will somehow lose my purpose and get off track. I want to make her proud but I don't know how. One of my biggest dreams is to have a farm of my own. And right behind that is to open my own cafe. Oh and I want my books to be published. And I think I might want to teach. I really love kids and history and literature. I think that teaching may be one of the best ways to combine them. Mommy says that I could do school online and through correspondence. I think I like that idea, I am not to keen on living alone or sharing space with someone I may not like. And then again I may just be selfish on the latter. I don't think I'm ready to leave my family, I know they drive me up the wall but I would miss them way too much. I want to go into film especially script writing. I have always wanted to do that. Maybe even a little acting. I'll take a look at my options and see what I come up with. It looks like its going to take a long time before I can even get started in the music business. I also like to design things. Outfits, websites, rooms. I love it all, the problem I can't draw worth a tree. It's all in my head. I started typing this post craving ice cream but now I've had some. And it was really good. I don't know why I love ice cream so much. I wish we had our ice cream maker here that would be so much fun. You know what's also fun? Cupcakes! I made cupcakes last night. I loved it. I hadn't done it in awhile. I missed being in the kitchen. Maybe I could open a bakery. Yeah, that would be so cool. I should probably get back to my knitting. I am working on the uptown mommy from the fall 2006 knitscene and I think I will finally start my CPH this evening. Oh and I am making mommy's Mother's day present but its a surprise so I can't share. XD
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